January and fresh starts. Why it's as helpful as it is cheesy.
This month has felt like a relief. A convenient opportunity to move forward. The last few months of 2018 were filled with intense emotion and heartache. Our daughter Matilda Grace was stillborn on November 14th. I realize we’re not the only family this has happened too, as I have been gracefully, and sometimes not so gracefully, reminded. Grief is not something you can compare. It is a very real experience.
January came as a way to create space and say that happened “last year”. There has been a lot of intentionality around here since then, and so much more grace for growth. Like drinking a ton of water to be able to accomplish something before I left my room in the morning, or writing something EVERY. DAY. Even if it’s useless.
During 2018 after I found out we’d have a baby coming the beginning of March I said no to some opportunities that I thought would be difficult to accomplish with a newborn and two other kids in tow. Being a mama comes first. Now that circumstances have changed I still have the space I’ve created for myself. How often do creatives never have time to truly create? Much of wedding work or flower work is creating something someone else wants and has requested. How often do those wedding professionals ever get the time or resources to create something they love without the boundaries of someone else’s approval? When do we ever take the time to stop working to figure out if we really enjoy it anymore? This is the time I’ve been given and I’m so thankful for it. I have been creating in ways that I haven’t had time for since high school.
So January has not been a typical work month for me, but it has opened doors to new ideas and directions for our family and my work. I’ve never really given much weight to January before. I mean, I’ve always loved looking back and setting goals for the future, I just didn’t think it was something to only happened in January. I’ll still do it all year long. But the new year, and saying “2019” has been such a blessing.